Cheating Girlfriends

August 17, 2009

Top 5 Signs of a Cheating Boyfriend

Filed under: Relationships — Tags: , , — admin @ 6:22 pm

Cheating boyfriends leave many signs and with a little patience, and by giving him lots of time and space to cheat, you can catch your cheating boyfriend without having to hire a costly private investigator. We have compiled a list of the top 5 signs of a cheating boyfriend so you can tell whether or not your boyfriend is cheating. Remember to pay attention to details and follow your gut instinct. In addition, if you and your boyfriend haven’t clearly discussed whether the two of you are both monogamous in your relationship, don’t assume he has just “automatically” decided to be faithful to only you. Maybe in your cheating boyfriend’s mind, your relationship isn’t serious enough for him to consider being faithful yet. Make sure you are both clear on where you stand regarding fidelity in your relationship.

1. Lack of intimacy. This doesn’t always have to be in the form of sex. It can be a decline of touching, cuddling, holding hands or kissing.

2. He cheated on his old girlfriends. If you can talk to some of his old girlfriends, by all means, do it. However, make sure to ask his ex-girlfriends in a kind and calm manner so they do not become defensive. A cheating boyfriend will usually repeat their behavior with their next girlfriend.

3. He avoids you. A big sign of a cheating boyfriend is when he makes up all sorts of excuses as to why he can’t be with you because he’s spending time with his “other” girlfriend. If he has to work late, stay after school, is always with his friend’s or co-workers more than usual, these could be the excuses your boyfriend is using to cover up his cheating ways.

4. He never answers his cell phone around you. A way to tell if your boyfriend is cheating is if he always turns his ringer off around you or walks out of hearing distance from you. These are big red flags he may be cheating. If he receives calls at odd hours or speaks on the phone in a strange manner could also be signs he is cheating.

5. He is irritable or criticizes you more. If your boyfriend’s behavior suddenly changes, there is a possibility that he may be finding fault with you in order to justify his cheating in his mind. That way your cheating boyfriend can say you “drove” him away because of your supposed faults. The opposite of this behavior is being overly nice, giving gifts and being lovey-dovey because he wants to keep his cake (you) and eat it too (his other girlfriend).

If you discover your boyfriend is cheating, seek support from those around you like friends and family. Don’t get revenge by sleeping with one of his friends because it just brings you down to his low level and you should strive to be the bigger person. The circumstances of your boyfriend’s cheating will allow you to decide whether to leave or stay. It is very therapeutic to write down your anger, sadness and disappointment in the form of a letter or a cheating boyfriend poem. Allow yourself some grieving time and then get right back into the game of life by filling your life with activities that interest you.

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August 12, 2009

Learn The Behavior Of A Cheating Spouse

Filed under: Infidelity — Tags: , , — admin @ 9:32 pm

Do you think that your spouse is having an affair? Many times, it can be very difficult to tell if your spouse is cheating on you. Fortunately, many cheating spouses eventually show signs of being unfaithful, most of which are associated with their behavior. Outlined below are some signs that your spouse might be cheating on you.

Your spouse joins a gym. This is a major sign when it is something that they never had any interest in doing so before. If you never had a problem with your spouse’s weight before, why would you now? This could be a sign that they are trying to impress someone besides you.

Your spouse does not have time to sit down and talk anymore. Did and your spouse talk about their day? If you never seem to have the deep or intense conversations that you once had, there may be a major problem. Cheating spouses often try to distance themselves from their relationships at home. This is a sign that your spouse may be cheating on you.

Your spouse may act differently during sex and want to try new things out in the bedroom. If your spouse suddenly wants to try new things in the bedroom or if you just notice that the sex is different, they may be cheating. In fact, you may be left wondering where they learned that from.

In keeping with sex, your spouse may want to have it less. A decrease in sex frequency is a sign that your spouse may be cheating on you. As for why sex occurs less when cheating is involved, they feel guilty about what they are doing or they may be getting enough sex already.

They may also get angry easier and more often. Your spouse may also be touchy around you. This may lead to more arguments and disagreements in your relationship. Things you do may annoy your husband or wife. They may actually go as far as to leave the room.  Be sure to observe the changes in behavior that your spouse has towards other members of your family as well.

They want to buy a whole new wardrobe, in a way, reinventing themselves. This works in conjunction with joining a gym to lose weight. A huge sign of cheating is when a new wardrobe is purchased and when more skin is being shown.

Unusual behavior when your spouse is on the phone is another sign of cheating. When they are talking on the phone near you, do they try to lower their voce or even leave the room? Hanging up a phone quickly is another signal to watch for. Be cautious of increased cell phone use, as many cheaters prefer to use their own personal phones, as opposed to family phones.

In addition to examining the behavior of your husband or wife, the behavior of your friends should also be examined. The friends you share together may start acting differently towards you. This is often because your shared friends might know more than you do. Even if a friend does not outright tell you that your husband or wife is cheating, they may intentionally or unintentionally show you the signs.

These above mentioned signs may be an indicator that your spouse is cheating on you, but there may also be reasonable causes for these behavior changes. For example, your spouse might want to look great for you and you alone, or they also may simply want to improve their health.

Since there are no guarantees that cheating could be going on, even with the above mentioned signs present, additional steps should be taken. These steps can and should include monitoring cell phone calls, viewing the cell phone bill, or hiring a private investigator. Never confront your husband or wife without the proper proof. Be sure to get solid evidence of cheating, otherwise you could be creating a whole new problem in your relationship.

Cheating Boyfriends

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August 6, 2009

Is My Cheating Husband Grounds For Divorce?

Filed under: Marriage — Tags: , , — admin @ 4:56 pm

Not anymore. The way divorce used to work in most states was that a grievance would be brought by one spouse or the other and that particular grievance would either be grounds for divorce or not. A cheating husband or cheating wifewas often grounds for divorce because the loyal spouse was so insulted and humiliated the chances for reconciliation were slim. Eventually most state legislatures were told to mind their own business when it came to a reason for divorce and they responded by giving couples complete freedom to divorce if there were “irreconcilable differences.” Now a couple can divorce each other very easily; at least as far as most states are concerned.

Is a Cheating Husband Really a Good Reason for Divorce?

I have been asked this question a number of times and my answer is not always the same. There are questions I ask in return:

Do you have any children? How long have you been married? Are there drugs and alcohol involved? Is there any physical spousal abuse involved? How many times have either of you been married?

As you can see by the questions the answer is not always so simple. It is important of course for spouses to be loyal to one another, but it is also important for spouses to understand what marriage is and what behaviors work within a marriage to enhance all of the goals each person has when they get married.

The big problem in our society is that nobody knows what the heck marriage is and nobody understands the very basics of relationship building. The role models for a happy marriage are nowhere to be found in our society. Television sitcoms, parents and other relatives, and schools that don’t have any “how to live” programs or education, all sent you into the deep end of marriage life without so much as a travel pamphlet to guide you. So it isn’t 100% fair to expect people to suffer through a blistering marriage without some breakdowns.

In just about every case, infidelity is a manifestation of ignorance-driven frustration and so carries a little less of the taint of evil than we would normally ascribe to it.

Infidelity is Not Excusable, but should Not be Punishable by Death of the Marriage

Every couple who came to see me where there was infidelity, was able to rescue and resuscitate their marriage.

In fact, they went on to have amazing marriages because once they learned how to be married, the normal evil actions of that infidelity were understood and put into a context of non-judgment.

If your husband is cheating on you, I recommend you shift your perspective and recognize his weakness rather than his treachery. Read my Lessons For A Happy Marriage so you can have a deep understanding of what created his infidelity. Until then, don’t imagine even for a second that it is your fault. Even those ladies who protest and say they don’t take on any of the blame, there is always a little bit of questioning in their minds as to whether they were adequate wives or not.

Lastly, if you are not married but reading this to see what you should do about a cheating boyfriend or fiance, my answer is very simple: move on. A man who is not completely caught up in the joys and excitement of marrying you is not worthy of your commitment to him.

Marriage is meant to be joyful and simple, but our culture has done nothing to educate you. Once you learn this simple math of marriage a very happy family life is assured; but until then you are groping in the dark. Strike the match of education to light your way to happiness.

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